anniversary

Remember when this page was still blank?
And I sat staring at the blinking cursor waiting for some kind of epiphany.
I didn't know the flow of words would come
or that time would force them to.



Remember two months ago when I thought it'd never end?
When sleep evaded me,
I thought for sure I'd been gutted
while I tried to shrink away from those other eyes.
Remember four months ago when I thought it might never end?
Unafraid to plan and let plan,
to then let this restraint unravel,
accommodating this unlikely surprise.

Remember two years ago when I looked around and realized what I'd miss?
Now most of it has dissolved away.
Otherwise transformed, and
this is who has stayed.

Remember fifteen years ago when the first days of summer unfolded into disaster?
The permanence of it settling in,
and everything in between seeming so trivial.
Every little thing became
so impermanent.
And I try to forget why I ever felt that way at all.