Grit: fostering (not finding) a passion and substituting nuance for novelty (because humans get bored)
Every so often, I have a mini, internally controlled panic attack about the state of my brain, body, and life. It usually revolves around not being up-to-date on current events, not having the attention span to consume more literature...and not having hobbies. I wonder if maybe I'm not "working" hard enough. I try to make manageable resolutions to eat better (i.e. 4 fewer pounds of chocolate and/or cheese). I make lists and open windows and revisit documents. I should do this or that. I should start this or that. I want, I wish, I will.
...And then I usually don't.
It's a game of structure and priorities for me. I guess I just can't prioritize the things without structure. And the lingering thought that I'll have time for it later or I'll do it tomorrow.
Anyways, the point is, I have a lot of hobbies I'm determined to begin when the monster/significant-other/religion/baby/life called Master's Thesis is over and done with.
The other point is I usually pull myself out of these mini, internally controlled panic attacks by thinking that I haven't been cooking enough - the hobby that will never go away even though I may stray.
So all of that brings us to one night in the midst of a time period I will hopefully never have to experience again: exam week.
Well technically, the week before exam week. Proteins presentations week for me. Where the motivation is at an all time low because I'm almost 100% positive that level of motivation is inversely correlated with how deep into the semester you are. And when you're a second semester senior - forget about it. So when you're preparing to finish up your research thesis-based graduate degree, having already weathered the times of 4-5 exams back when you were young, starry-eyed, and paranoid...the last thing you want to do is perfect a 20 min presentation on fat receptors.
Plus, a ginormous bag of tiny cubed cheeses courtesy of Luis was wanting for my attention. And I had been building up a mac and cheese craving for weeks prior. Unfortunately, not every cheese is good for every application. And perhaps having some knowledge of the ingredients you're working with is a good starting point...
So if you've stuck with me this far (sorry, Amelia is in a storytelling mood because... procrastination + lunch break + foggy shitty weather + SF in 6 dayz) and you've prematurely watched the video*, you can probably figure out that... I failed.
I noticed the problem as soon as the cheese cubes melted and began to stretch. Oops. The first thing I did was.. to just dump the rest of the cheese in because fuck it, it's too late to turn back now, what am I going to do with this anyways? The second thing I did was to look up the effect of pH on mozzarella because wouldn't you know I learned something in Dairy after all - pH affects the stretch of mozzarella, kids. My two options were baking soda and apple cider vinegar... neither of which was very appealing. Neither of which really worked.
But at least, if there's anything I've learned about art, it's that it comes from the most unexpected places. I'm calling it
Unsuspecting Elbows Trapped In Web That Is Life
Meanwhile, I was having a very supportive and nerdy conversation with my fellow food frands. Luis told me to lower the pH because he's the cheese guy. Amy suggested yogurt for that. Bianca suggested I make 3x the amount of regular mac and cheese to mix in. Leslie offered to help me eat as is. And Garrett thought throwing it against the wall and finger painting with it would be best. And that's when it came to me...
mozzarella sticks!
But more like.. mac and mozz sticks. It's a thing now.
First things first, you must completely fail. You must find yourself in a mental state of woe and shame. For fucking up something as easy as mac and cheese. For not being more aware of what you were doing as you face an otherwise preventable mess. For potentially committing one of my personal cardinal sins - food waste.
And you do this by following your favorite mac and cheese recipe... but substituting in mozz.
Every so often, I have a mini, internally controlled panic attack about the state of my brain, body, and life. It usually revolves around not being up-to-date on current events, not having the attention span to consume more literature...and not having hobbies. I wonder if maybe I'm not "working" hard enough. I try to make manageable resolutions to eat better (i.e. 4 fewer pounds of chocolate and/or cheese). I make lists and open windows and revisit documents. I should do this or that. I should start this or that. I want, I wish, I will.
...And then I usually don't.
It's a game of structure and priorities for me. I guess I just can't prioritize the things without structure. And the lingering thought that I'll have time for it later or I'll do it tomorrow.
Anyways, the point is, I have a lot of hobbies I'm determined to begin when the monster/significant-other/religion/baby/life called Master's Thesis is over and done with.
The other point is I usually pull myself out of these mini, internally controlled panic attacks by thinking that I haven't been cooking enough - the hobby that will never go away even though I may stray.
Well technically, the week before exam week. Proteins presentations week for me. Where the motivation is at an all time low because I'm almost 100% positive that level of motivation is inversely correlated with how deep into the semester you are. And when you're a second semester senior - forget about it. So when you're preparing to finish up your research thesis-based graduate degree, having already weathered the times of 4-5 exams back when you were young, starry-eyed, and paranoid...the last thing you want to do is perfect a 20 min presentation on fat receptors.
Plus, a ginormous bag of tiny cubed cheeses courtesy of Luis was wanting for my attention. And I had been building up a mac and cheese craving for weeks prior. Unfortunately, not every cheese is good for every application. And perhaps having some knowledge of the ingredients you're working with is a good starting point...
So if you've stuck with me this far (sorry, Amelia is in a storytelling mood because... procrastination + lunch break + foggy shitty weather + SF in 6 dayz) and you've prematurely watched the video*, you can probably figure out that... I failed.
I noticed the problem as soon as the cheese cubes melted and began to stretch. Oops. The first thing I did was.. to just dump the rest of the cheese in because fuck it, it's too late to turn back now, what am I going to do with this anyways? The second thing I did was to look up the effect of pH on mozzarella because wouldn't you know I learned something in Dairy after all - pH affects the stretch of mozzarella, kids. My two options were baking soda and apple cider vinegar... neither of which was very appealing. Neither of which really worked.
But at least, if there's anything I've learned about art, it's that it comes from the most unexpected places. I'm calling it
Unsuspecting Elbows Trapped In Web That Is Life
Meanwhile, I was having a very supportive and nerdy conversation with my fellow food frands. Luis told me to lower the pH because he's the cheese guy. Amy suggested yogurt for that. Bianca suggested I make 3x the amount of regular mac and cheese to mix in. Leslie offered to help me eat as is. And Garrett thought throwing it against the wall and finger painting with it would be best. And that's when it came to me...
mozzarella sticks!
But more like.. mac and mozz sticks. It's a thing now.
First things first, you must completely fail. You must find yourself in a mental state of woe and shame. For fucking up something as easy as mac and cheese. For not being more aware of what you were doing as you face an otherwise preventable mess. For potentially committing one of my personal cardinal sins - food waste.
And you do this by following your favorite mac and cheese recipe... but substituting in mozz.
Dip sticks into beaten egg. Coat in bread crumbs.
Freeze at least 2 hours and up to 2 days.
Fry about one minute on each side.
And pears tossed in ginger sugar and white balsamic.
Or, you know, anything else you want.
And pat yourself on the back for a job well salvaged.
...Or that I'm sure I disappointed my boss with my performance on that Proteins exam two days later.
"I lose my balance on these eggshells you tell me to tread
I'd rather be a wild one instead."
-Alessia Cara
*Yes, I did upload that to Youtube for the sole purpose of embedding it here.
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