why is bacon a thing?

Bacon really isn't my favorite thing.  I promise.  It's my brother's favorite thing, so I'm used to having it at home but not so used to actually eating it.  If I'm going to consume pork belly, there are far more delicious, beautiful, and satisfying ways of doing so.  But I find myself constantly with a pack of bacon in my fridge, and I have to ask myself "Why?"  I mean, it's not exactly the cheapest meat staple (that would be chicken drumsticks for 0.99/lb).  It's not a versatile centerpiece meat (that's still chicken drumsticks, which can be made any way with any marinade and any side dish/carb).  And it's definitely not the healthiest choice (I'd argue chicken drumsticks aren't bad in this department either - and then you can use the bones to make a broth, which is so totally in as of 2015...or birth if you were raised in my home).  (Can we just agree that drumsticks are the greatest grad student meat staple?)



But I'm not talking about chicken or drumsticks.  I'm talking about bacon.  And how I've somehow found myself with yet another pack of the stuff - three times this year... it's a record.
And I do think I have the answer to my own question.  Because some bacon in an otherwise vegetarian dish provides for me saltiness, smokiness, crunchiness, and most importantly, an oil medium to cook in.  And my favorite oil medium is animal fat.  [I'm disgusting, but vegetarians can take some solace in the fact that I'm going to die early.]
To anyone who says they don't like [enter veggie here], I say try roasting or sauteeing it in animal fat first.  And if you still don't like [enter veggie here]s, then at least you've acquired meat.  And since duck fat is too expensive for my lifestyle, bacon fat is the next best thing.  Some things like Brussels sprouts and mushrooms just don't make sense without it.

Okay, but I think I've been a little misleading up until now.  Though I'm still going to talk about bacon, it's definitely not in the context of veggies.

Once upon a time around sophomore year of college, I tried this.  It didn't turn out too great.  Because I took too many liberties and used some questionably strong apple cider vinegar.  As a result, I took a break from the idea of bacon jam, and it just didn't appeal to me again.
Until I was thinking about how I had Bleu Mont bandaged cheddar from Dad's visit, buttery Trader Joe's crackers from Lorraine, and a red apple that was on sale when I tried to buy healthy on a budget.  Yet something was missing...

bacon jam

(inspired by here)

6 slices bacon

half onion and 2 garlic cloves

1/2 t chili powder

1/4 t paprika

1/2 c spiced whiskey

1/2 c dark corn syrup

1/2 c tomato sauce

1/2 c apple cider vinegar
1/4 t ginger
1/4 t cinnamon
1/2 t ground mustard
(optional) 1 T brown sugar, added toward the end when I felt the sauce wasn't thickening enough
-fry bacon 'til super crispy and much fat has accumulated
-sautee onions and garlic in appropriate amount (for you to decide) of bacon fat
-add all the spices
-add the alcohol
-add the oozy sugar
-add the sour
-add the processed tomatoes
-bring to boil, reduce to simmer, stir, and watch it thicken and darken and overall come together into viscous deliciousness
-(optional) breathe in the spicy sweet smokey fumes

And that was. indeed, dinner for one.

Now I'm not a sucker for bacon on burgers (though I also won't turn it down), but bacon jam just made sense because it's sweet and vinegary.
So when Lorraine, Daren, and I finally got around to planning our long awaited burger night, I decided bacon jam would be the perfect condiment.  Forget ketchup, mustard, and aioli.
This, by the way, could not have come at a more perfect time - coinciding with when I had just resumed my burger quest, celebrated National Burger Day with Catherine at Dotty Dumpling's (where I was far more impressed with the Melting Pot), and decided to give campus food a chance by turning it into yet another burger taste test (pictured below, ehhh, exactly as you'd expect campus food to be).

First things first.  The bun.  You already remember my favorite blogger...  I pretty much followed her recipe to a T.  Or rather... almost to a T because I grabbed the wrong measuring spoon and mixed in 3 1/2T brown sugar as opposed to 3T.  But no harm done.  Look how pretty and fluffy and orange they came out of the oven.

So I might have gotten a little excited about the set up.  Eating off a bamboo cutting board felt super rustic and artistic and classy.

So bacon jam, toasted sweet potato buns, and mushrooms sauteed in bacon fat were my responsibilities.
LTO, chorizo, and gruyere-like cheddar from Whole Foods courtesy of Lorraine.
Fashionably late Daren finally brought us the star of the show (read: meat) and S&V kettle chips.
Simple patty made with scallions and adobo seasoning.  And stuffed with pan-fried chorizo.

And then I made them wait while I first carefully assembled a burger tower.

Squish.  Press.  Smash.

Struggled bite.  Bite, bite, chomp.  Lick.  Lick.  Stuff voraciously into mouth.

Side note: I now have three little sauce cups of bacon, beef, and chorizo fat...
Lorraine is not wrong when she says I'll die of a heart attack.