only an idiot would

I'm so annoyed at myself.  Because I can now add "can't keep track of her food" to my list of flaws and issues.  This is like a subcategory of "food regret" (the kind you experience after eating something less-than-satisfying.

It all started when I decided to bring a half dozen donuts to Julia's to watch Amazing Race.  I should preface this story by saying I got no sleep Thursday, drank no coffee Friday, and feel the symptoms of a cold coming on.  Going to bed early was priority number one on Friday night...  And that's when I got on the bus with the leftover half-eaten donuts (hoping to eat them for breakfast over the weekend)...and promptly left them on the seat when I got off.  So much sadness.  I came home and whined to my roommates about it.  Because I don't even like donuts.  The last time I ate one was at Monuts, and that was because I look Alfred with me.  But Audrey promised me that Greenbush Bakery is the "best in the world," so I went for it and happily ate my Fruity Pebble one at the bus stop, while Oreo, peanut, mint, coconut, and the old fashioned (which I never tried, sad) sat in their white paper bag, so patiently next to me.  These are the memories I'll mourn.

Then Audrey brought home a bunch of homegrown kale (along with the bright flowers pictured below), which made me super excited to try out a kale chip recipe I had on reserve.  So on this beautiful morning, I very excitedly went grocery shopping because I came in under my food budget last week.  And then as I was unpacking the mere two bags of groceries, I was baffled by the whereabouts of my much needed (and most expensive purchase) of raw cashews.  What the fuck, Amelia?  Where could they have possibly disappeared to along the three minute walk from Fresh and my apartment?  I checked all cabinets, the fridge, and the area under the sink where we keep recycling.  I was and still am so confused.  Especially after running back to Fresh to ask my cashier if she happened to find my bag of cashews - nope.  The alternative is that I dropped them, and they were promptly stolen.  But who sees a sketchy bag of raw cashews and thinks, "Score!"?

I tried to console myself with breakfast for lunch.  Breakfast potatoes, roasted with yellow peppers and onions, with mozzarella.  Tomatoes tossed with scallions.  And of course, a fried egg.

It helped... until I finished it.  And now I'm back to being upset with myself.  I've started a list of "Things to avoid buying for the time being" because it'd just make me too upset.  A new kind of food regret.
The vegan kale chips will no longer be vegan.