schitt's seventeen

My starter baby (that Kyle deemed Scratchy when I asked him to name it, so Scratchy it is) is tucked to bed in the fridge after these beet and olive loaves.

Except the beet powder baked to brown so my vision of vibrant pink swirls didn't quite pan out...

As the twin loaf was coming to term in the oven, I made an ugly leftovers quinoa hash while trying to tamp down my rage listening in on a manufacturing meeting. I did not succeed. My rage boiled over in the form of "this is unbelievable" laughter.

Quinoa hash went a little something like this:

-pull out mishmash of things from fridge that need using up like sardine roe, greens dressing, harissa, hatch chili, v dried up sage

-dice some potatoes, slice up some garlic, think about slicing onion but realize you're wearing glasses and not tryna cry

-fry potatoes and garlic until crispy, add several sage leaves

-mix in hatch chilies

-scoop in about 1/4c quinoa and dump in some water to cover

-simmer simmer simmer until no more water and quinoa is cooked

-toss in sardine roe along with the olive oil

-put in bowl, fold in greens dressing

-fry an egg and top it, dollop some harissa

-decide it's too ugly to take a picture, rage eat in all your rage

-eat the rest for dinner, topped with sunflower seeds, and attempt to document (...ehhh.... but still delicious honestly)

Delivered a carby love letter to Joyce as an excuse to get some air after all my rage.

This is my second baby by the way, and Joshua was my guide.

[How do I make a more elegant leaf?]

These are his insides.

The oven was put to some serious work today. Maybe this is proportional to my rage.

My vision was a brownie/blondie duo. My dilemma was that I'm being precious with my eggs. Truly my greatest struggle during this self imposed no-grocery-shopping-during-quarantine rule is that I don't know whether to use my eggs to bake or fry them to put on top of everything.

So while these guys are noticeably eggless, they are most certainly not vegan.

Red bean + black sesame brownie with Minimalist as my guide.

except about 300g of mashed red bean

butter instead of coconut oil

1 chia egg instead of flax eggs

only 1/4c cocoa powder

only 1/4c powdered sugar

1/4c leftover black sesame caramel + another 1/8c ground black sesame

vanilla omitted

...it was not cohesive at all.

So I mashed it all back up and mixed it with ~1/8c unearthed-from-my-pantry banana flour with 1/4c oat milk and 1/2t xanthan and baked it a second time. Bettttter, but still not quite there. Like my rage.

Raspberry + coconut umeboshi caramel blondie with Michelle as my guide.

except 3T butter because that's what I had left of the stick and I was too lazy to cut into another

only 1/4c sugar

probably just under 1/4c banana flour + 1/2c oat milk instead of eggs

vanilla omitted

raspberry jam from a jar and iteration one of my coconut umeboshi caramel globbed and swirled on top

Then I started cutting cubes and felt the rest of my rage melt away.