weaponized incompetence

This is a giant Arsicault croissant on my favorite coffee mug.

We are decompressing today because I am triggered.

 Tell me something. Why is it that some people get rewarded for doing nothing?

Jennie wanted a nugs@nite party for her birthday, and because I am cheeky and weird as fuck, I made a 'pink slime' dessert: gingersnap crust with vegan strawberry sweet potato ice cream mushed in the crust to look like slime.

I feel like I'm living with my ex again. The last time I saw Megan in SF was when I was still living with him.

Megan and I walked 25,000 steps all around Oakland this time with a stop in the middle for Ethiopian food at Asmara (veggie sampler wasn't the most flavorful but the beef chunks were yummy).

Some people can't identify the problem that needs a solution right in front of them.

Mama Do made extra chicken curry and we got to reap the benefits.

I'm still trying to figure out if it's oblivion or laziness.

How did I end up in a Barry's class in Marina? And then with this Palmetto Superfoods bowl. Who even am I when I finally leave my apartment and cross the bridge?

It's kind of like when you have to ask... are they just dumb or actually malicious? I don't even know which one is worse.

Malted tahini cake. Almond buttercream. Strawberry cheong. Strawberries.

And most of the time I can't be bothered to care. I used to play a game if I spotted a stray piece of trash or a counter stain that's slowly drying up or a coffee pot that needed to be cleaned. I would leave it and then wait to see how long it would go unnoticed.

Handpulled noodles are my greatest joy and secret. This bowl was prepared zhajiang mian style but with leftover pork belly filling instead of beef. Topped with egg, chili oil, and lots of scallion from my overgrown scallion bunches. With a side dish of roasted acorn squash marinated in shio koji for one weeks (SO YUM) and the other half with soy sauce, five spice, white pepper, and sugar for a couple days.

I don't know why I continued to do that. I would always lose.

Wawa Thai pad thai with a view after a quick "hike" to justify this five pound container of noodles.

If you want something done right, do it yourself. As the age old adage says.

Staying inspired by all the treats from Grand Opening that seemed like they could be so dense but turned out SO LIGHT.

Parisian egg tart - ma'am yum. Like a light and airy basque cheesecake or something. Tell me out.

Burnt honey pie - somehow also light even when its a block of gooey fudgy sweet?

Pomelo custard bun - the crumb! the lightness (again) of the brioche-y bread!

Caramelized pineapple cake cookie - shortbread cookie is almost brownie-like but also.. so light (i'm telling you).

Laminated milk bun with peanut and condensed milk - honestly this pastry is admirable, so simple, so chewy, excellent lamination, with a hint of salty fun whenever I bit into the topping.

Passionfruit caramel cashew cookie - brb, making passionfruit caramel.

Sometimes I would say something. A gentle reminder. A request in passing. A more aggressive nudge once in awhile.

I took Megan to check out a potentially cute bar that a date basically stood me up at. Men find so many fun ways to waste my time. This mezcal + carrot drink that followed an amazing carrot calamansi agua fresca from Tacos Sincero a few weeks prior... has me thinking about carrot cocktail ideas...

It would change nothing. Instead, I would just develop a reputation.

Finally picked up a mesmerizingly purple ube sourdough from Rize Up. That I ate over many meals with preserved lime dressing and my kimchi kraut fridge experiment.

Here's the thing though. I can't make you care. I am not your mother. I am not your maid service. I am not the lab manager. Nor do I want to be any of these things. The worst part is, I do not even request much. I do not set the standard. My bar is not high. I am barely functioning myself. I am tired all the time. I am thinking about a billion things. I want to shut my brain off. I am drained before the day starts. I am deliriously wiping the same spot over and over again. My hands are dry and cracked from following you with a bucket and rag. I don't get paid enough for this shit.